"THE FREEDOM OF FORGIVENESS"

                  MATTHEW 18:21-35

         INTRODUCTION

          A story is told of a man who was bitten by a dog. This was during the time when vaccine for rabies had not been discovered. The man went to see a doctor for diagnosis. The doctor admitted him at the hospital and performed several tests on him.

          Finally, the doctor found out that the dog that bit the man had rabies and so the man had contracted rabies. There was nothing the doctor could do to save the man’s life. Therefore, the doctor advised the man to get his house in order. In other words, the man has to prepare his will and mend his broken relations with others.

          One day as the doctor was going round visiting his patients in the wards he came to the man’s bed. The man had a long sheet of paper and a pen and he was writing some things on the paper. The doctor was happy that the man had taken his advice. So he complimented him and said, “I am happy that you are getting your house in order." The man then replied, this is not a will rather it is a list of names of people that I am going to bite before I die.

          Some of us are like this man. Instead of seeking forgiveness and reconciliation, we seek revenge. I even believe that this kind of mindset is responsible for the widespread of the aids virus in Africa, United States, and other parts of the world. Therefore, I would like to share with you on the topic: The Freedom of Forgiveness.

I.                  LEARNING TO FORGIVE OTHERS VV. 21-22

In the preceding paragraph, that is Matthew 18:15-20, Jesus had just finished teaching on how to treat a sinning brother or sister in the faith. Peter who always had something to say asked Jesus how many times he was supposed to forgive a sinning brother. Should I forgive seven times?

          In the days of Jesus the rabbis (Jewish teachers) taught that one was to forgive three times. After the third time, there was to be no room for forgiveness. Peter wanting to be a good person was willing to forgive seven times. The number seven is a common biblical number for completeness or perfection. Before we proceed, let us settle some primary matters. What does the word forgive or forgiveness mean in the New Testament? The word to forgive or forgiveness is synonymous with our usage of reconcile/reconciliation. There are two Greek words which mean to forgive/forgiveness. The first is to release, to set free. The second word means to offer a gift of grace. Western individualism, which has nothing to do with the context in which the term forgive/forgiveness is used in the Bible, defines forgiveness as a private releasing of another, a personal gift of grace within the believer’s heart. But in the New Testament context, the meaning is always relational. It is addressing the interactions between offended people. The question of forgiveness has to do with a broken relationship. In the biblical sense the opposite of forgiveness is bitterness or resentment. Someone has in fact deeply hurt you and you have resolved in your mind and heart that the person must pay for what he or she has done to you.

          The Lord has laid this message on my heart for quite some time, but I think today is the right time to share with all of us. One thing I have observed across the years is our unwillingness to learn to say I am sorry or I was wrong. Due to this arrogance and pride there are many unresolved issues among Africans, individuals, Christians, and non-Christians alike. Many Africans actually enjoy bearing grudges. Someone has said, I don't forgive, I get even, but the truth of the matter is that when you refuse to dwell on wrongs you have suffered, you are set free from the damaging and destructive practice of nursing grudges.

          When general Oglethorpe said, I never forgive, John Wesley replied, Then I hope, sir, you never sin. The story is told about a pastor traveling in Europe who was invited to a home for the night. The man of the house explained that his twelve-year old boy had been adopted during the war years. The father narrated the desperate condition in which they had found the boy, of his tattered clothes and worn-out shoes. The father explained that they gave the boy new clothes, but kept the old shoes as a reminder of how the boy looked when they found him. Periodically, the old shoes were brought to the child to remind him of his previous condition. The pastor noting that the boy seemed hurt and ashamed thought to himself, how glad he was that God doesn’t continually drag out our old clothes. You can learn to forgive.

          Jesus the Master Teacher used Peter’s question to teach one of the most important lessons on the Freedom of Forgiveness to His disciples.

II. THE STORY OF THE MERCIFUL KING VV. 22-27

          This parable is about a servant who owes the King—his Master ten thousand talents. The talent was the highest known denomination of currency in the ancient Roman Empire. Ten thousand talents were an astronomical figure. Some scholars think that if it were to be converted to the US dollar, it would be about 12 million dollars to a billion or trillion dollars today. That means there was no way the servant could pay back the money to the King. Even if his entire family were to be sold together with all their assets, the King would still incur some financial loss. The servant realizing his predicament fell prostrate before the King, asking for pardon, patience and extended period of time to repay him. The problem that I have with this servant is this; where does he think he can get the money to repay his master? To the astonishment of Jesus’ original audience the King has compassion on the man and cancels his debt. Not only will the King not sell the man into slavery; he will also not require repayment of any kind. Sheer grace is at work here. Grace means the unmerited favor of God. The King had compassion on his servant and debtor. This parable is about you and me and our debt of sin to God. The debt you and I owe for our insulting refusal to live right and for our rebellion against love is beyond us all. Such an infinitely vast debt only God could pay. Amen. But God doesn’t owe the debt. We owe the debt we cannot pay. God paid the debt He did not owe. God became human—a divine human in Jesus Christ to stand with us in our evil, to pay the immeasurable price; to pay for what you and me have done in choosing to be what we are—sinners. While we were yet sinners Christ died for the ungodly (Romans 5:8).

          Let me ask you a personal question. Why is it that you enjoy the forgiveness of God, but you find it difficult to forgive others?

III. THE UNMERCIFUL SERVANT VV. 28-31

          The servant who had just been forgiven a huge amount of debt saw a fellow servant who owed him a hundred denarii. A hundred denarii represented a hundred days wages. Here is the contrast, the value of a talent ranged from sixty to ten thousand denarii. So here you can see the disparity of the debts. But as soon as the first servant saw the fellow servant who owed him a hundred denarii held him at the throat demanding an instant payment of his money. The second servant pleaded for mercy with almost exactly the same words the first had used with the King. Instead of showing the same mercy, which the King had shown him, he refused. Why is forgiveness so hard? Why is it easy to keep grudges more than to forgive? I see many Christians bearing grudges because they have been hurt. I believe one of the things that cause people to move from church to church is unforgiving spirit. I see this more often among Africans. He or she is in a church and someone has hurt her, but instead of taking the steps which Jesus has taught us in Matthew 18:15-20, she leaves for another church. She says to herself, if I were no longer in the church he/she could not hurt me again. The problem with this way of resolving personal hurt is that the relationship has not been restored. Another problem is that people are the same everywhere. In your new church you will run into another person who will remind you of the one who hurt you. So you become a wounded person on the inside. The truth is that forgiveness is not let go, but the restoration of the relationship. It is taking the positive steps to restore a broken relationship.

          We cannot live without forgiveness—without receiving it or without granting it. The unforgiving mind becomes a sick mind, and before long it leads to a sick body. The rabbis advocated forgiving a person three times, Peter suggested seven, but Jesus said seventy times seven. It is not a matter of mathematics, but of compassion. Christ intends His church to be a fellowship of forgiveness. If there is a rift there, the infection of sin will find it, and ruin would follow.

IV. THE KING’S VERDICT ON THE UNMERCIFUL SERVANT VV. 32-35

          Word got back to the King that the servant to whom he had shown boundless mercy and compassion had proven unmerciful to a fellow servant who owed him little. When the servant appeared before the King, the King called him wicked. The King said to him, I forgave you because you begged me, you pleaded to me; shouldn’t you be merciful to your fellow servant who owed you? There is a great lesson here that I will show you later, but see what the King did. The King decided not to sell this servant and his family. Instead, he handed him over to the torturers. The servant is to be tortured till he pays back all that he owes, which he can never do. In verse 35, Jesus ends the parable with a severe warning that God the Father would treat unforgiving Christians the same way the King did to the unmerciful servant. The heavenly Father would hand you over to the torturers who would torture you. Do you have an unforgiving spirit? Are you one of those who nurse grudges? Are you harboring bitterness and resentment toward others? Perhaps you were praising God and enjoying the worship, but as soon as one person or two walked in your joy and peace have evaporated. Am I talking to somebody today? It is because our heavenly Father forgives so bountifully that is why He also punishes ruthlessly. It is because God is compassionate and merciful that is why He cannot accept as His children those devoid of compassion and mercy.

          Now let me come back to the lesson of the torturers. In recent times Africans are dying at a rapid rate here in the United States, the state of Texas, and the Metroplex. I believe there are many factors involved in these deaths, such as, stress, lack of exercise, lack of rest, refusal to have a medical checkup, and so forth. However, I want to add another theory or factor to what I have mentioned. I think that unforgiving spirit or bitterness can also cut short your life span. In fact, it has been proven by counselors and medical doctors that people’s unwillingness to forgive lies deep at the root of all kinds of personal problems. Bitterness, resentment, or unforgiving spirit can affect your health physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. The torturers are the self-inflicted punishment you endure for refusing to forgive. When you refuse to forgive you punish yourself and you block the path to God’s blessing on your life. Therefore, forgive others for your own sake so you can be free. Forgiveness is mainly a matter of obedience to God. God wants you to be free; there is no other way. Forgiveness is a choice; it is a decision of your will. Since God requires you to forgive, it is something you can do. Sometimes it is very hard to forgive someone because you naturally want revenge for the things you have suffered. Forgiveness seems to go against your sense of what is right and fair. So you hold on to your anger, punishing people over and over again in your mind for the pain they have caused you. Perhaps you have said to yourself, unless he crawls on his knees to beg me, I won’t forgive him for what he has done to me. Maybe the person doesn’t even remember doing anything to you that has caused you such pain. Therefore, do not wait for the other person to ask for your forgiveness. Remember Jesus did not wait for those who were crucifying Him to apologize before He forgave them. Even while they jeered and made mockery of Him, He prayed, Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing (Luke 23:34). Forgiveness is not superficial. Forgive from your heart. Allow God to bring to the surface the painful emotions you feel toward those who have hurt you.

          If your forgiveness doesn’t touch the emotional core of your being, it will be incomplete. Too often you are afraid of the pain so you bury emotions deep down inside you. Let God bring them to the surface so He can begin to heal those damaged emotions. Forgiveness is choosing not to hold someone’s sin against him or her any more. It is common for bitter people to bring past issues with those who have hurt them. You want those who have hurt you to feel bad. But you must let go of the past and choose to reject any thought of revenge. This does not mean that you continue to put up with the future sins of others. God does not tolerate sin and neither should you. Don’t allow yourself to be continually abused by others. Take a stand against sin while continuing to exercise grace and forgiveness toward those who have hurt you. Don’t wait until you feel like forgiving before you forgive. You will never get there. Why? The answer is simple. The feeling will not come. Make the hard choice to forgive even when you don’t feel like it. Once you choose to forgive, Satan has lost his power over you in that area and God’s healing touch will be free to move. Such an action will give you freedom.

          In the Sermon on the Mount when Jesus was teaching the Model Prayer, there is a line that runs like this, "For if you forgive men for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions" (Matthew 6:14-15). Without forgiveness from God we shall live forever in hell; unless we grant forgiveness to others, we shall make a hell for ourselves on earth. We are not equipped to deal with stored up grudges. The resulting bitterness will destroy us. You must turn loose all ill feelings and be free of them, for happiness is impossible for anyone who refuses to forgive.

          There are some of you who say he doesn’t deserve to be forgiven. You need to realize that by its very nature, forgiveness is undeserved else there would be nothing to forgive. It was Stephen’s dying prayer of forgiveness toward his murderers that struck a note in the heart of Saul of Tarsus, the harsh persecutor of the early church (Acts 7:59-60).

          Can I speak freely to the women? Do I have your permission? There are many of you who enjoy or take delight in keeping grudges. Some of you join your friends in keeping grudges with others about matters that do not even concern you. Some of you drag your husband to your grudges and it affects them as well. Could it be that the reason God has not answered your special prayer need is because you are holding somebody in bondage in your heart, but God wants you to release that person before He answers your prayer? Women can easily make more friends than men, but can also become easily offended and ruin your friendship. Listen to this, "The richest man/woman in the world is not the one who still has the first dollar he ever earned." It is the man/woman who still has his friend. Are you still in good terms with the first friend you made when you were growing up?

          Forgiveness is not an act, it is a process. It is not a single transaction; it is a series of steps.

          The Steps to Forgiveness:

1.     Restore the attitude of love. To love another person is to see that person

as full of worth and precious regardless of any wrongdoing. Love is possible when you see the other’s value once more, recognize his/her preciousness, and choose to understand. Forgiveness cannot begin until love has been re-extended to the offender.

2.     Release the painful past. To hold the past between you and the one who

has hurt you as if it can be undone or demand that what was done must be redone is fantasy not reality. To come to reality is to accept the past as past. You are not your past. You are a person capable of repenting, changing, and turning away from past patterns of behavior. You are equally free to change if you accept the freedom which Christ has given you.

3.     Restore the relationship. This is the real work of forgiveness. To view the

pain of offense within you and between you and others is not easy, but it is the way to healing. Therefore, take the necessary steps to reconstruct the relationship.

4.     Reaffirm the relationship. Reconciliation must end in celebration, or the

process has not ended. We must touch each other as deeply as is possible in our release of the pain and celebrate the mutual recognition that right relationship has now been restored or achieved.

          Yes, you can forgive and forget. To say, “I can forgive, but I can’t forget, is really saying, I know how to overlook a wrong, but not to forgive it.” To say that you can forgive but can’t forget is like burying the hatchet with the handle sticking out. Am I speaking to somebody today? We must learn to forgive seventy times seven.

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